Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Resistance Accomplished With Penguin Jokes!

My heart is saddened and worried as I resist the urge to dive into my old computer habits to avenge my newest love.  "That would be so cruel!"  Or, "I should get caught!"

I'm reminded of the last guy who thought he was clever with his 1337 5k*11z...  I sometimes miss his crazy ideas of how to annoy me.  And the guy before him who avoids me like the plague?  So sad...  so sad.

My evil side is hurt that I abandoned my computer world even though it was out of evil anger.  Yes, folks, with the exception of little scripts here and there to help me accomplish a task, I quit programming.  It's caused more harm than good, so I am looking for a new talent.

My newest talent is joke telling!  No, not really, but I am looking for good penguin jokes to make me feel better.  They must be penguin jokes!  Here are a few I've found so far (and 2 I knew):

FAT PENGUIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First joke, to break the ice!!!

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Q: Why don't you ever see penguins in Britain?
A: Because they're afraid of Wales!

Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, "you look like you're wearing a tuxedo." The second penguin says, "what makes you think I'm not?"

Penguins are black and white.  Old TV shows are black and white.  Therefore, penguins are old TV shows.

Q: And, lastly, how do you express your delight at a penguin joke?
A: Cool!

Any more?  Please share them below!

P.S. Don't take anything you read above seriously except for the request for more penguin jokes.  Most of it is silliness.  It's sad that I feel like I have to say this, but that's the world for you!  So, no hate mail from penguins!  Thanks!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Dreams of Fortune

    I won't tell what inspired this right now.  I want to know if you, dear reader, can take any meaning from my first attempt at poetry.  Please, be critical.  Be insulting if you need to be.  I have no confidence in my poetic skills, so you won't hurt my feelings in the least bit.  Shall I keep things like this in my notebook hidden away, or should I share?

Dreams of Fortune
What dreams of fortune to come our way are worth the time to contemplate?
Yet stuck we are obsessed with fame, but all we want is them to know our name.
How long will it take to rise to power? And will it be worth the wasted hours?
We will fail, and we will fall.  Then, we will cry and take our fate.
Giving up is the hardest necessity, but someone has to work for the clock.
All the while, we have that dream that someday we will live the life where we can be the idol who sleeps worry-free.
But someday soon, our fire will die, and we will be left an empty shell wondering the streets doing our duties and admiring those who got that lucky break.

Friday, November 23, 2012


Idols. Those amazing individuals who can do no wrong. Those unerring, sinless role models. I am so sorry to burst your bubble, but such people do not exist.

I think it's wonderful to admire people. Take note of what impresses you, and try to better yourself with the quality as a goal.

I think it's unhealthy to idolize people. It hurts. As a matter of fact, it can hurt both sides.

I have been unfortunate enough to have idolized and to have been idolized. It will be easy to share the experiences in the later-mentioned situation, but it will be a struggle to admit my wrongs in the former. Nevertheless, this blog post will do no good if I cannot be honest.

I honestly don't know what they see in me.

Sure, I'm smart and have a talent or two, but the people I have in mind don't even really know me. We all love compliments, and we all love being appreciated, but it's just awkward when such things are unfounded or exaggerated yet sincere.

I'm no celebrity, so maybe it's just that I am not used to having a fan or two. I just don't have a clue about how I am supposed to respond. Do I sit down and explain things to them and risk insulting them? Do I joke about it and thus encourage it? Do I thank them for their compliments and implicitly admit superiority that doesn't exist? And what if I mess up?

I don't know what to do, but maybe I can find wisdom in my past mistakes.

In a time of struggle, hope can make the difference. When the world seems to be trying to knock you down, you need a solid rock on which to stand. If only there were at least one thing in this world that is perfect. God is hard to see, but what if there were a tangible physical something or someone on which you could rely?

Usually, it's someone in a position of power. Occassionally, it only takes someone who paid attention. Sometimes, an admirable quality starts the ball rolling. A combination of these things is perfect.

You try to better yourself, you try new things, and you do lots of stuff to get their attention. If it isn't good enough, why not try some self-destructive behavior just to see what happens? That doesn't work, so you go to more extremes. This isn't at all healthy!

Why did I stop? Was it the inability to carry out my foolish plans? Hah... no. Was it someone new? If it were, I wouldn't be stopping; I would be moving to someone new. No, dear reader, my self esteem improved.

The point of such an obsession is to have a reason to keep going in a world that resembles Hell. When you are able to take care of yourself in this world that, in my opinion, does sometimes resemble an evil place of torture -- only when you can take care of yourself in this world can you escape from the dependance on the idea of a perfect person.

So what should I do in the position of the one being idolized?

To be perfectly honest... I have no idea! Maybe trying to improve the self esteem of the idolizers? That probably won't work for the many of you more awesome people. Time just won't allow this approach! I'll keep a lookout and maybe ask a few more well-known people how they handle their fans.

I bid my regular readers a wonderful stalker-less life until next time. I do have one more thing to say on this topic to someone not currently a regular reader, though.

At the risk of being misunderstood as insincere, I must refrain from delivering this apology in a manner that ensures receipt. I must instead rely upon fate to bring you to this message.

I would like to apologize for my foolishness. It wasn't until I was in your situation that I realized why you made the decisions that you made. At the time, I was hurt and angry. Now I know that there simply were no good choices that you could make. Looking back, I know exactly why I did what I did. But even knowing the mind of the fan (I say fan because I don't want to label my past self with a harsher word), I know not what to do if one is the target of such admiration. You are blameless.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Bad Resume Habits

    After perusing through tons of résumés, my hope for the future of humanity has almost all withered and died. In a last attempt to save our world, I am presenting a list of outstanding and too-common mistakes that are seen on résumés.

    Some of these issues are common sense. Some of them are funny. Unfortunately, I have personally seen every single one of these mistakes numerous times.

I'll be targetting résumés sent via email, but most of these tips will apply for hard copies as well.

I'll divide it up into categories, but first I want to list the most common problems.

  • Use correct grammar and spelling.
  • Have a professional email address. PrettyHoe@aol.com will only get you hired as a stripper.
  • Use .pdf format! Do not send your résumé in .txt, .rtf, or .htm format.
  • Only use fancy words and punctuation if you actually know what they mean and how to use them. And don't overuse them because, most of the time, your potential employer won't understand fancy stuff!

Now let me go into the rest of the issues, divided by category.

Person issues

    If they don't like you, they likely won't hire you. Make a good first impression.
  • If you put an email address on your résumé (which is a good idea), I suggest it be yourfirstname.yourlastname@gmail.com or something similar.
  • Don't put "Hi There!" in the subject line of an emailed application. It's unprofessional.
  • If you send your résumé three times and then follow up every single day with an email, you will definitely be remembered! They'll remember to redirect all of your emails to their junk folder. Don't pester your potential employer!
  • I'm sorry, but if your résumé is centered around your past work experience as a cheerleader and as a Hooters waitress, you'll only break the heart of the guy who tries to hire you only to have his superiors stop those plans. If you are trying to get an office job, then have some office experience.
  • Don't ask if you can send a résumé. Just send it.

File Issues

    If a potential employer cannot open your résumé easily or correctly, you probably won't get the job.
  • Use .pdf format. .doc is also acceptable but not as good. Never send your résumé in .htm, .rtf, or .txt format. If the reviewer is the least bit tech-savvy, your résumé will go straight to the trash.
  • Renaming résumé.doc to résumé.pdf will not turn it into a .pdf file; it will just make it harder to open. Google for "converting .doc to .pdf".
  • Please, don't send your résumé in the body of an email. You can't control the margins, you can't control whether they allow pictures or formatting, you just can't know how it will look. Most of the time, it will look absolutely horrendous! Send it as an attachment instead.
  • I recommend saving your résumé as your first and last name. This prevents potential employers from accidentally overwriting your résumé when saving multiple résumés to disk.
  • Use tabs, not spaces. With spaces, the alignment is sometimes not perfect, and it looks ugly.

Content Issues

  • If you can only type 35 to 50 wpm, keep that to yourself. I can type over 100 wpm. If you can beat that or come close (at least 65wpm), then put that on your résumé.
  • Use consistent formatting. Google "consistent formatting" if you don't know what I mean.
  • If you're a beginner at something, don't say on your résumé that you are a beginner. Let me say this again. If you are a beginner at something, do not say that you are a newbie.
  • Don't make it too short. We want more than work history, so list some skills.
  • Make sure that the written objective (if there is one) matches the job for which you are applying. If you say, "I am applying for a job in underwater basket weaving," and you submit that to Microsoft, do you think that you'll get a job?
  • Some words and phrases are overused. I get tired of all the "proficient in..." phrases after a while. Be creative and unique.
  • Don't use an automatic résumé creator. Most of them are no good.

Have any ideas?

    Okay, so maybe I'm no expert at what to do when writing résumés, but I have seen enough bad ones that I know exactly what not to do. I (and my loyal readers) would welcome any further insight, so feel free to comment.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Exciting news!

Okay, let me do the introduction paragraph last.  I MUST get to what has me so freaking excited!

My favorite celebrity is actually going to be on a TV show!  I need to buy a better TV, get some speakers, and get dish or something to watch NBC (it isn't on NetFlix).

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Update August 28, 2011

It's been a very long time since a blog post, and I apologize to my stalkers and loyal readers.  Well, I've been playing MineCraft (I've been made a moderator on the MinecartRapidTransit server, woohoo!), I've been doing farmwork, I've been learning Java, I've been doing web dev, and I've been working as a "Special Projects Manager".  Yea, I've been pretty darn busy...

Well, I have two blog posts planned for when I have the time.  First, I am making a note of every time I become frustrated or annoyed by silly mistakes.  It will be slightly humorous, I think.  Second, I will be going over how 95% of resumes get rejected.  Maybe, after those two, I may go off on a rant of needing to educate the general population better.  I don't hold their ignorance of their field of work against them; it is the fault of an education system that could be improved.  Maybe more on that later.

Well, I'm busy until next week, so I hope to see all of you again soon!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Update 7/24/2012

It's been a while. Between job hunting and playing Minecraft, I haven't been doing much else.  Later today, more job hunting.  Then, working on an app with a friend.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Ant Farm: Currently in Design Phase

I have always found ants fascinating.  Some of them farm, some of them domesticate other insects, and all of them have such simple minds that work together to create a colony with an intelligence of its own.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Difficulty in 3d Programming

I remember about eight years ago trying to wrap my mind around 3d graphics.  It took me months to finally make a wireframe model of a rotating fan.  I remember a few years later finally understanding enough to make a 3d castle with very poor graphics, and that took me an entire semester.  It is amazing how things that seem trivial now were so very difficult before I had as much knowledge on the topic.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Haunting Sounds of a Fight

I have always hated fighting because it is just so pointless in most situations.  If somebody insults me, I ignore them.  If somebody is trying to make me mad, I leave.  If somebody purposely spills their drink on me at a party, I leave.  In almost all cases, such people are not worth the risk of getting hurt, causing a scene, or wasting energy.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I don't know, so I'll just ramble!

Well here I was thinking this was all going so well, but my blog views are only 314 and my website views are only a little over 500.  Well, I'm out of ideas.  Maybe it will take a while for them to catch on.  Maybe I need something cooler like a comic.  Everybody loves comics!  No, that's not going to happen.

What can I do, oh what can I do?  What can I do get get more views?  In all honesty, I'm not really caring so much now as I once did.  I used one of the tools on my website the other day.  I suppose it being of use to me is good enough.

What is the point since I do not consider page views a big deal?  The point is that I am making a blog post.  It has been a while, and I would hate for any future loyal readers to think that I skipped out on them even before I knew them!

I'm working on some linear algebra C++ stuff for a friend.  Actually, I already have it mostly done with matrices, inverses, transposes, determinants, adjuncts, and a few other words I don't know the meaning of.  Until that's completely done and tested, it's job hunting and programming for me!

Job hunting.  I seriously have no idea why it is so hard to find a decent job.  Sure, I'm sure that McAcme would hire me, but their workers are so depressed I feel like just dying after I order my food.  Maybe AcmeMart?  Heh.  Hahahaha!  Funny.  Tried that, and no.  Corporations, why are they so depressing?  Okay, maybe I'm taking just two examples and judging the whole lot from them, but I do not want to work for a large corporation unless it's Google or some company like that.

Hmm...  what else?  I really really hate cluttering my blog with nonsensical unimportant topics, but there simply is nothing else to write about.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Web-Based Tools I Just Finished

After much effort, many headaches (I am starting to hate PHP), and quite a bit of debugging, they are finally here!  I present to all of you some tools for beautifying code, adding syntax highlighting, computing the HTML needed for showing code, and getting the length of a string.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Cool Tools You'll Love Using Coming Soon

I am currently working on some pretty awesome online tools for aiding in development.  I have a few little programs I use to help myself, and I have been using a combination of other people's online applets for certain tasks.  I want all of this stuff together in one place!  Oh, and why not add a few features while I'm at it?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

BlogSpot Feeds

What are those special feed URLs for BlogSpot? How can they be sorted, filtered? Blogs, Posts, Comments — how to get those. I recently made a BlogSpot interface in PHP/JavaScript and needed to know these things. There are already APIs out there for interfacing with BlogSpot, but I like to reinvent the wheel. Keep reading if you do, too.

BlogSpot Interface

Interfacing with BlogSpot isn't too terribly hard.  I suppose you could use their API1, but after looking at it, it was a bit complicated.  All I wanted was some PHP code to insert into my website that would automagically load and display my blog and its posts.

Monday, May 14, 2012

My website!

My blog has over 200 views since May 3, and it makes me feel great.  But y'all have surpassed yourselves this time!  I put my website up just over 24 hours ago under an odd URL (I just now changed it to something less nonsensical).  It already has over 100 page views!  I really liked my work and worked hard on it, but I was expecting around twenty page views.  Sixteen unique visitors liked my website enough to visit a total of 106 pages.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Red-Black versus AVL: benchmarks

The results of the benchmarks below are thus because of the fact that my computer does not have enough RAM to take advantage of the amortized constant time of the red-black balancing compared to the logarithmic time of the AVL balancing. The red-black balancing functions are longer, and so the height needs to be very large for it to catch up to the AVL and surpass it. See my blog post on the issue here.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Too Important

There are three people: Bob, John, and Jane.  Bob knows four languages, has won several state-wide competitions for giving speeches, and is an expert in ancient Egyptian culture.  John dropped out of college and knows nothing extraordinary other than how to outdrink everybody else where he attended college.  Jane is the CEO of a company that manages museums, and she is friends with John's mother (who is the CEO of a phone company).

Friday, April 20, 2012

Red-Black Trees

    This is a tutorial on coding red-black trees. I have tried to make it as easy to understand and detailed as possible. It covers both insertion and deletion from a red-black tree data structure.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Update: Tree Comparison on Hold, But Red-Black Tutorial Soon

Okay, I know that I promised a blog comparing AVL trees to red-black trees in a previous blog.  That blog was deleted since it may be a while.  I was planning on deleting it anyways if there were no comments since all of the information in it would be present and elaborated upon in the new blog about the comparisons.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

A Container that Uses an Allocator

In a previous post, I explained how to make your own allocators.  But one question still remains: how can I make a container that uses the amazing tools that are allocators?  Normally, a person would not worry about such things because the STL has almost every kind of container that will be needed, but it does lack a few; for example, an ordered dictionary is not part of the STL.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Standard Allocator Problems

As I have mentioned before, I do not consider myself an expert on allocators, but I do know a little about them.  In a previous post I explained their purpose, and in a future post I plan to show how to make your own container that uses them.  If I am not an expert, though, what qualifies me to express my concerns about a problem I think that I found in the C++ standard concerning allocators?  Well, starting the topic should be fine, but I think that I will leave the actual "do something about it" to somebody with more experience in such things.

Funky Memory

Allocators.  They are terrifying, difficult to understand, and easy to misunderstand.  They do not seem to be coded often, and few articles are written about them.  There is little to go on to figure out what exactly those handy little tools do or even how to use them.

I do not consider myself an expert on the topic, but I have read many articles, perused thousands of lines of code that uses them, and read the C++ standard1's sections about them. I am not an expert, but I know a little about allocators, and a little more information on the Web is much better than none at all!

First Post

"First Post" is a cliché title for a first post, but it's fitting.  Don't you think?

As I am waiting on the clock to reach 1:00pm and for my French class to begin, I find myself contemplating the reasoning behind a few standard C++ specifications.  I have a complaint to make (which will be in a later post), and Facebook just does not seem to be the place for such ranting.  I hereby create this blog in order to publish my ideas and thoughts — not only about programming but about anything else that I believe should be shared or about anything that need not really be shared other than for the relief that comes with venting.