Saturday, June 9, 2012
Haunting Sounds of a Fight
I have always hated fighting because it is just so pointless in most situations. If somebody insults me, I ignore them. If somebody is trying to make me mad, I leave. If somebody purposely spills their drink on me at a party, I leave. In almost all cases, such people are not worth the risk of getting hurt, causing a scene, or wasting energy.
I can live with myself when I avoid confrontations. Yes, there are times when it is not enough to just walk away. I have encountered such a situation only once... I think.
I won't recount the entire story, but I can summarize what was at stake. On this particular night, some man about twice my size was jealous of me and decided to beat his wife for trying to get me into bed. Of course, I was trying my best to fight off her advances and would have left had my accompaniment that evening not been missing, but the drunk man was oblivious to this.
Well, I was brought up with a few old-fashioned values, and one thing that just won't fly is beating a woman. I knew it had happened before, and I knew he meant to break some bones this time around.
I don't even know why I did it really. It was a very easy decision to make, but there was no logic behind it. I was just going on what I had been told. I can't let this happen.
Well, it didn't happen. At least not that night. I stepped in, and it escalated to a fist fight. I tripped over a coffee table, and the next thing I knew, I was hearing thumping noises. "DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM". They never seemed to end.
Finally, I got to my feet in time to see a chair being raised up. Then it stopped more quickly than it started. The next thing I knew, I was back at home, looking at my scars and broken nose in the mirror.
I tried to console myself with the fact that this idiot was going to prison soon for something unrelated and would be the girlfriend of somebody. Either that, or his wife would shoot him.
In gradeschool, I always heard that people respect each other more after a fight. I've also seen people fight then get over it and become good friends. From the looks and sounds of it, only good can come from fights. But then again, nobody was hurt in those fights, and the issues were trivial. Does any of this hold true in real fights?
I cannot sleep tonight because all that I hear is "DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM" in my head. PTSD? I wonder if I would feel better if I find him and beat him to a pulp. I wonder if he's still alive. I hope he's had a terrible life because I am struggling to justify my actions that evening.
Why is this bothering me? A lot of good has come from this: respect from those who thought me a coward, admiration for doing the "right thing", and I look pretty darn good with a broken nose!
It's bothering me because I can't sleep with that noise "DUM DUM DUM DUM"! He is one of the millions of people like him in this world, and I wonder how can anyone sleep? Can they not hear the drums, too?